When I stepped into the fashion world, I subscribed to thinking beauty was an idea that I had to look a certain way, weigh a certain number, and acceptance was woven into that thinking. Being loved was accepted on the outside, preferably with a boyfriend in tow.
Now we are in an exciting transformation in fashion where uniqueness is encouraged, beauty is uniqueness, and encouragement is all around us.
To quote one of my favorite movies, “When the foundation is good, then everything else can be fixed.” -The Money Pit, 1989.
What is the foundation here? That you are uniquely, wonderfully, and fearfully made. You are made in the image of someone who loves us greater than we could imagine. These are words that I have to hear on repeat, from others, speak out loud, on the phone, in Snapchat, write them down, listen in podcasts, in the stars, find in unique moments in day to day life. Yes, go on, please tell me more about how fab I am. But because of some broken attachments, repeating of patterns and falling into the path of self destruction, I believe(d) otherwise. “I’m unloveable,” I would think. I’m not worthy of affection-clearly, I’m the equivalent to last season’s Prada bag!”
Because life is a beautiful, jumbled mess, sometimes my brain is, too. This week, I came back from a retreat (more on that here), and today had that feeling of Dahling, I Need to Write. Naturally, my car drives me to Raleigh Raw. I don’t know what I’m writing about yet, but I know that, THERE IS MATERIAL clawing to get out. The feeling of when you try on the gorgeous, oversized wool knit and for three seconds you have encompassed winter as the one-who-knows-fashion to oh I must get this off I will die in a showcase of eternal itchiness how-does-one-simply-live please pass the bourbon. Material! So much so that I opened my blog to oh, idk, 19 unpublished drafts. Ahem. Talk about a fashion overthrow.
Through endless reminders of truth, do I finally believe I am next season’s haute couture? Balmain’s next season’s geometrically displaced works of art? Better yet, I am a work in progress stepping out of a fitting into real life.
One down, 18-infiniti to go. Let’s walk together,
PS currently listening to: